As I live...

Pains of all sorts,heartaches,headaches, bodyaches can attack me anytime.
Any day..any moment..

I have no idea where it really come from...
whether it's just my mind,
my thoughts..
my emotions..
my surroundings..

It's weird.

It's getting in my system and makes me wonder why it keeps on coming back.


As I'm typing this, slowly it's breaking me apart...


Sometimes it gets so sickening that I just wana throw up.


Yeah..I'm just keeping a grip on things.

Bearing all these questions ...How long shall I remain this way?

How long shall my pain strike me? Will this never end?

I wana be FREE from all these!

Pause...

Funny how external events can cover up and put a mask on how
I truly feel.

Pathetic huh?

..Somehow..

It's not a question of "where's-the-next-party?" so I can be free
from all these bad emotions and thoughts that keep hanging on
my mind...

Maybe forget about it for awhile till I get
to my "fun" senses back again.


It's not planning where to go next...what to do..
what pills to take or which book to read.


It's a question of "Whom to go to?"

..I'm thankful.

That Jesus has got me..just seeing the CROSS keeps me shut up.
Far from above it all it's not really my heartaches that really
matter in this world anymore...it's Him.




Yeah.. it's just Him.


At thie moment, eventhough I don't feel much of His presence
because I am way too overwhelmed by my pains,heartaches,
sadness,confusions and depression right now..

I know He is there.

He will always be there...for me.

I can keep on shedding tears. Feel and let my confusions go and be that way till the sun goes down.

.. inspite of it all..He is with me..

I believe so.





My assurance?

It's the C R O S S..

Am I crazy? Be it that way.

Let's see where this "craziness" would take me..

I'll just keep resting on Him...

...this time it's FOREVER.