Sunday, April 12, 2009

When ego gets a bad rap!

"Ego gets a bad rap. It can be good sometimes to have ego in the sense that you know your worth and gifts. It's called positive ego.

Today, focus on what you like about yourself. The more you know yourself, the more you can do in the world."


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I received this message from a facebook friend and I have nothing against this.

Talk about our ego.

Well, I have learnt that it can do so much .

It can uplift , hurt and confuse us.

Positive or negative ego. It exists.

Look at the last line. The world says,

"Today, focus on what you like about yourself. The more you know yourself, the more you can do in the world."

I can focus on so many things that I like about myself.

Maybe I think I'm sweet, caring, nice, so-good-to-be-true individual
and much more that'll make me feel I'm worth
your time and attention...( But honestly, I'm not.)
But wait! Those lies can make me feel better. So let me have the stage.

But for how long?

an hour? a week?a few seconds?

Unfortunately, I'm not the kind of person who is satisfied in getting
my happiness meter up by depending on my external circumstance or
the things around me.

When I was a kid, getting a new toy was a total happiness for me.
But after few weeks of playing with it, I got bored.
Then I was up into some toy hunting again to satisfy myself.

That cycle continued to live up in my system till I finished college
and started a career.

I was never contented for anything else that came my way.

At the back of my mind, I found it weird.

"Something must be wrong in me", so I thought.


Let's read this again.

"Today, focus on what you like about yourself. The more you know yourself, the more you can do in the world."

Well, I thought I got to know myself well enough
that I ruled out that something was really wrong with me.

So I tried to seek answers from how-to-self-books , personality development
seminars and retreats.

And guess what?

The more I tried to focus on myself and got to know more of me deeply,
the more I got so frustrated and depressed.
How to do something in the world in a state like this?

My emotions were unstable, inconsistent and needed a lot
of reminding to feed on.

I know I can never go so far in this state.

Because the more I focused on myself the more I saw a lot of darkness, failures,
disappointments,sadness and fears not even in me but around me as well.
It was sickening and it felt like I was on my own.

So what did I do?


I changed my mind. and focused on JESUS..

Yeah, just focused on Jesus and nothing else.



How to focus on Jesus?

I listen and read to a lot of good GRACE teachings
and just dive right in to His beauty.
How He wants me to have PEACE that the world can't give.
How He heals and restores my health.
How He comforts me with His songs of praise.
How He protects me from any harm and accidents under His wings.
How I feel so righteous with Him even if I fall and misbehave.
How He stretched His hands out on the cross and sweat out blood to
redeem me from all sicknesses and take me out of poverty.
How He just loves to love me unconditionally.
How He enjoys me getting a lot of energy from Him.

It's amazing!

Woooooow!

Now, I can smile!:)

It's indeed pure beauty. And I feel so light.

He is indeed the Light!

Now you know one of my secrets.

Everytime you fail or feel depress and frustrated,
you have a choice.
You can read self-help books, go to retreats which
I think is just temporary self-gratification

or

you can just focus on JESUS and rest from it all.

Which habit do you like?

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