Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts
Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts

Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Do You Want To Meet Jesus Soon?





My instagram friend tagged this on me.
Haha!

Upppppss. I know there's a lesson on this message somewhere. You just gotta need to dig deeper.

And I know also that every Believer wants to meet Jesus
but not that soon right?

Because you still have a purpose.

Amen!!!

"Don't Text and Drive" !

But if you can't really help it...
Say PSALM91 first before going anywhere else.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Monday, December 14, 2009

It's joke time!

There was a very gracious lady who was mailing an old family Bible

to her brother in another part of the country.

'Is there anything breakable in here?' asked the postal clerk.

'Only the Ten Commandments. ' answered the lady.

Sunday, December 6, 2009

Jesus Knows You're Here..

A burglar broke into a house one night. He shined his flashlight around, looking for valuables when a voice in the dark said,  Jesus knows you're here.'

He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze.

When he heard nothing more, after a bit, he shook his head and continued.

Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard
'Jesus is watching you.'

Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice.  Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot..



'Did you say that?'  he hissed at the parrot.

'Yep',  the parrot confessed, then squawked, 'I'm just trying to warn you that he is watching you.' 

The burglar relaxed.  'Warn me, huh?  Who in the world are you?'
 
 'Moses,'  replied the bird.

'Moses?'  the burglar laughed. 'What kind of people would name a bird Moses?' 

'The kind of people that would name a Rottweiler Jesus.' 



 Meet Jesus the Rottie

Friday, December 4, 2009

Florida Court Sets Atheist Holy Day!

Gotta love this Judge!

You must read this.....a proper decision by the courts...for a change.

FLORIDA COURT SETS ATHEIST HOLY DAY

In Florida, an atheist created a case against the upcoming Easter and Passover Holy days. He hired an attorney to bring a discrimination case against Christians and Jews and observances of their holy days... The argument was that it was unfair that atheists had no such recognized days.

The case was brought before a judge. After listening to the passionate presentation by the lawyer, the judge banged his gavel declaring, "Case dismissed!"

The lawyer immediately stood objecting to the ruling saying, "Your honor, How can you possibly dismiss this case? The Christians have Christmas, Easter and others. The Jews have Passover, Yom Kippur and Hanukkah, yet my client and all other atheists have no such holidays..".

The judge leaned forward in his chair saying, "But you do. Your client, counsel, is woefully ignorant."

The lawyer said, "Your Honor, we are unaware of any special observance or holiday for atheists."

The judge said, "The calendar says April 1st is April Fools Day. Psalm 14:1 states, 'The fool says in his heart, there is no God.' Thus, it is the opinion of this court, that, if your client says there is no God, then he is a fool. Therefore, April 1st is his day. Court is adjourned." You gotta love a Judge that knows his scripture!

This is too good NOT to forward!

Walking Away From A Million Subscribers To Follow God's Plan

Walking Away From A Million Subscribers To Follow God's Plan If you’ve clicked on this video, you might have felt a nudge, a call, or a ...