Integrity- Where Am I?

"Integrity"

Funny how this word can strike me twice in a day.

Once, when a friend of mine,
...upon knowing I still keep doing the things that hurt me the most.
And why I don't stand firm on the things that I believe to be are 'right'.
or as categorized as right have asked me 'Where's my integrity ?'

Twice, in my cellgroup. The topic of the night
It's where some characters on the book of Daniel
have shown integrity towards God inspite of their endangered situation.

As my friend puts it. Integrity is

"-standing for what is true
-being honest..about yourself, about your life, about ur convictions
and standing for it even if your circumstances or situation is endangered
another term wich can be related with integrity is compromise.."


In my current situation, "integrity" seems so hard to fathom.
For I know I have not been so honest with myself lately.
Moreover, grasping the thought of 'standing firm'
to what seem to be is right doesn't give me enough reasons
to just give in. Yeah Im stubborn alright.

Why am I still doing things that I know must come to a stop?
Why one day the inconsistency of my actions bring me so
much pain and then the next or few days I still end up doing
the same thing all over again.
Getting more pain a/nd hurt even more.

Why?

Yes so many why's.

There's some parts of the lyric in a song
'Love them like Jesus' of the Casting Crowns that says

"The love of her life is drifting away
They're losing the fight for another day
The life that she's known is falling apart
A fatherless home, a childs broken heart

You're holding her hand, you're straining her words.
You trying to make sense of it all
She's desperate for hope,darkness clouding her view.
She's looking to you

Just love her like Jesus, carry her to Him
His yoke is easy, His burden is light
You don't need the answers to all of life's questions
Just know that He loves her and stay by her side
And love her like Jesus.

The gifts lie in wait, in a room painted blue
Little blessing from Heaven would be there soon
Hope fades in the night , blue skies turn to gray
As the little one slips away

Lord of all creation holds our lives in His hands
The God of all nations holds our lives in His hands
The Rock of our salvation holds our lives in His hands
He cares for them just as He cares for you."

It's just easy to point on what's right or wrong.
Standing firm on what you think is "right" or "wrong"
starts the battle.

As for me. I will just keep resting on Him for I know
there will be a lot of questions from now on as I go along.

Do I really need to know all the answers to it?

Maybe yes.
Maybe no.

But one thing is needful. I'll just keep looking at the cross.
No buts or if's.
I am just thankful because as I continue to feel this way,
out of my confusions and my troubled heart..
Jesus' love for me has set me free!

The best prescription!

Now, I really need to do that haircut!

God's Protection Plan Against The Four Horsemen Of The Apocalypse

If you have read the Book of Revelations and have been baffled by the 4 Horsemen..this is the answer to your questions..Definitely would send shivers down ur spine!

My Random Thoughts (Part II)

Well, yeah. I thought I'd go on living hating Jesus and God forever.
I hated them because I thought they didn't know that I existed at all.
That I didn't matter to them.
That I was worthless that's why I deserved to live my life like
I was few steps away from hell.

I envied all the rich people.
I wished I was a famous celebrity that I could just charm anyone
away with just a wave of my hand and match with flying scripted kiss.


I wished I was somebody else.
And even wished I was born in a different set of parents.lolx!

These were the thoughts that kept running in my mind back then.
Little did I know.. I thought of so wrongly.

I was lost.. insecure..and a total LOSER!

Years passed...

I realised I was such a fool to allow my mind
to deceive me.

I realised...

Humans...no matter how much money they have in their bank accounts,
how popular they are..how complete their family circle would be ..
or no matter how wide their network of friends are all just the same.



...still


empty.



Why?

for 34 years of living on this planet.

I have asked that question too...

Like Solomon, I have tried, everything with all my might
to be happy and just keep it that way.

I buy my fave gadgets...work real hard to have a good and Godly
given career.
Be with someone for long...eat all the food that I want.

Name it.

On your side. I know, you are doing the same thing.
but just on a different level or situation or of different interests.

Right?

Yes!

Happiness...True and lasting happiness is indeed evasive.

The world can give you lots of quotes and sayings on how to find it.
Even "Do-it-yourself" stuffs would work.
It's really up to you .

Me?

I take it on a different level.

How?

(to be cont)

My Random Thoughts (Part1)

As a kid, I wasn't brought up with living in a nice, cozy,
air-conditioned room, having all the latest toys that I wanted
and all the fun stuffs a kid could ever wanted.It's not that my parents really didn't want to. It's because during those times, they had other priorities.
One of which was getting rid of that 'making-both-ends-meet' cycle.
As I have grown to my teen years, the cycle still kept coming on...

On and on and on.

Sometimes it got even worst. My late sister, being a hydrocephallic had made the hospital
her second home. And then my late dad, who was an alcoholic and a chain smoker back then, had suffered liver and heart disease. My mom gambled and had suffered hypertensions every once in awhile.
Yes, I can say that three of them were hospital-friendly.

Me? I was just watching over them as time went on. Kept wonderin what's it all about.
Kept questioning God alot of stuffs.

These events in my life had made me wonder. And boldly bombarded God with questions like
"Is this why the reason why you created me? To witness and feel all the bitterness and
hardships in this world?"

I could'nt just fathom. And I frozed with all those questions stucked in my head. Wonderin if God was real or not...

During those times, I didn't know Jesus that much. Being a Roman Catholic, I was more introduced to the Saints and Mama Mary which gave me an idea that Jesus was just one of them. I'm still glad though I was blessed enough to know a bit of Jesus
back then in my school since my parents were not church goers.

I remember as part of our Christian Living subject, we had to pray devotedly the rosary in the whole month of September. In the morning, before and after recess, and before we took off. For fours years of my highschool life, I dreaded that month. It was really a total bore for me. Out of desperation, I was able to ask our teacher why we needed to do that. She just said, "To honor" her and it is something that God wanted us to do.

Just that.

Then I concluded to myself, "That's why my parents don't go to church!"

That was the start of me not going to church and not choosing to be with Him maybe
because out of Fear or out of boredom.

I told God," You're such a boring God! If you're real why you demand so many things from us?
We have had enough troubles of our own and yet you still want a piece of us?!!"


Fastforward.

I graduated and have my own job.

I witnessed how the world turned out to be.
Earthquakes.
Tsunamis.
Murders.
AIDS.
Terrorism.
SARS.
Wars.
Deflation.
Recessions.


For 37 years of my life, these events are ever so present.
Not a single moment passed by that nothing of any these have come to stop.

Then I asked God again.

"Where are you? Why are you letting these things come to pass?
Are you having fun right now?! Look at your people! Look at the world!"

Somewhere ..you can see some Christians telling you
"God is mad! He is coming with fury because of your sins! Prostitutes! Corrupts!
Adulteries! Repeeent!"

Adding insult to injury.
I hated Jesus.

(To be continued)

Your Blood

Good Monday morning everyone! Let's praise the Lord this time
inspite of our every situation. Don't just say "He may" deliver us from
our pains, heartaches,financial setbacks and sicknesses!
But boldly say. HE HAS DELIVERED US from it all!!
His blood has done it soooooo execeedingly!

Sing with me...

2year old boy worshipping God

Found this on youtube..
Wow! 2yr old boy Joshua sings "I See Grace"
and he looks so cuuute praising God even more with his arms open wide and
eyes closed while singing.


See Grace Album 2007.
written & composed by Karen Lim
here's the lyrics

Jesus my help,
I call on Your name!
I cast my cares on You.

Jesus my hope,
My tower of strength!
My faith is found in You.

I see You pierced, wounded for me,
When I look to the cross, I see.....

I see grace,
Sealed by Your sacrifice.
I see love reaching for me.
Precious blood,
Washes and sanctifies.
Healing flows,
Setting me free.
I see grace.....

Bearer of sin,
Afflicted and tried!
You paid redemption's price.

Bearing my curse,
You've set me on high!
Your death has brought me life.

I see You pierced, wounded for me,
When I look to the cross I see.....

I see grace,
Sealed by Your sacrifice!
I see love reaching for me.

Precious blood,
Washes and sanctifies
Healing flows,
Setting me free.
I see grace.....

Be like the donkey

One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well.

The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do.

Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway;

it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey.



He invited all his neighbors to come over and help him.

They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well.

At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly.

Then, to everyone's amazement he quieted down.

A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well.
He was astonished at what he saw.

With each shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something amazing.

He would shake it off and take a step up.






As the farmer's neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal,

he would shake it off and take a step up.

Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey

stepped up over the edge of the well and happily trotted off!

MORAL :


Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt.

The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up.

Each of our troubles is a stepping stone.

We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up!
Shake it off and take a step up.








Remember the five simple rules to be happy:

1. Free your heart from hatred - Forgive.

2. Free your mind from worries - Most never happens.

3. Live simply and appreciate what you have.

4. Give more.

5. Expect less from people but more from God.








GOD BLESS ...!